


Better to be Safe than Sorry

by Aluminum_Crow



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, Edward is a Shiny Disco Ball, Imprinting is a Funny Thing, M/M, Murders Happen All The Time, of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aluminum_Crow/pseuds/Aluminum_Crow
Summary: Bella Swan was absolutely done with Forks, Washington. She had been here for five minutes, and already hated her life. “Oh,” she cried mournfully, “My life is so sucky! There are no undead or paranormal hot men around!”
Relationships: Jacob Black/Edward Cullen
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Better to be Safe than Sorry

Bella Swan was absolutely done with Forks, Washington. She had been here for five minutes, and already hated her life. “Oh,” she cried mournfully, “My life is so sucky! There are no undead or paranormal hot men around!”

Just then, Edward Cullen, hearing her father’s strange thoughts about his strange emo child and the strange things she said, came super speeding out from the bushes. He realized that she was hot, and also smelled like dinner, and so ran into the sunlight, lighting up like a disco ball and looking like the teen model he was. 

He then realized that the two gaping mortals in front of him had seen him, and even though they didn’t know that he was a vampire, it was better to be safe than sorry. And plus, they smelled so good. Murders happened all of the time anyways, these two wouldn’t be missed. 

So, with that thought, he brutally ate and murdered both the angsty teenage girl and her sad, lonely father. Just then, Jacob also leaped out of the same bushes that Edward had burst through just moments ago. He saw the mutilated corpses of the two humans and turned into a wolf, viciously thinking at Edward, “You have broken the treaty, and now you must die!”

They went to attack each other, but Jacob realized that he had imprinted upon Edward. They then walked away happily, arm in arm, leaving the two mutilated corpses lying in the middle of the street. 

  
  


THE END


End file.
